There’s nothing wrong with being afraid of horses. They’re big, scary animals capable of spontaneous violent combustion at any moment. In fact, it’s a bit of an intelligence test, really. You’d have to be a complete idiot to have no fear.
Fear is a natural emotion and it’s an important one, too. Without fear, we’d be likely to do really stupid things that could result in serious injury or even death. Everyone is afraid of horses on some level. You should not feel badly about yourself if you are occasionally experiencing nervousness or fear around horses. But when fear begins to control what you do and do not do — and it begins to impact your enjoyment of horses — it’s time to do something about it!
Fortunately, there are many things that you can do to get back in control of this emotion. I know dozens of people who have followed these important steps and have gone from paralyzing fear to achieving their dreams on horses.
Intellectualize your emotions
First, it’s important to intellectualize your emotions in order to understand your fear, its origins, and the effects of the emotion on your mind and body. You may be suffering from post-traumatic fear, which occurs after an accident or an injury. Or you may be suffering from general anxiety, which is something we do to ourselves by creating the “what if” scenarios in our minds. It’s important to think through your emotions objectively and understand them.
• Post-traumatic fear. With post-traumatic fear, your fear will tend to surface whenever you are doing something similar to what you were doing when you got hurt. This is known as a “fear memory,” and it is a normal reaction — don’t let it take you by surprise. Expect it and be ready for it by having a plan to keep your emotions in check. You cannot erase fear memories, but you can train yourself to over-ride them.
• General anxiety. General anxiety tends to affect us more as we age, since we don’t bounce like we used to and we have more life pressures on us. What if I get hurt and can’t go to work? Who will pay the mortgage? Who will take the kids to soccer? What if I look stupid in front of all these people? General anxiety is something we do to ourselves; I call it mind pollution. The important thing to realize is that you can control what you think about and you can choose to think about more positive things. Have a plan for what you will think about, even if it is only reciting poetry or singing a song.
Once you have really explored your emotion, it is much easier to objectify it. Your mind, body and spirit are all interconnected, and one affects the other. By intellectualizing and objectifying your fear, you’ll keep your mind engaged and that will help keep the fear in check. Also, if you can learn to control your body language and look confident, no matter how you really feel on the inside, then your emotions don’t stand a chance. If you can control your mind and your body, your emotions can’t control you.
Build a confidence plan
It’s also important to develop a plan for building confidence, since it won’t just happen on its own.
1. Define your comfort zone. Start by defining your comfort zone, which is the exact moment that you become uncomfortable and nervous. Go about your daily routine with your horse, paying extra close attention to your bio-feedback and find exactly where your comfort ends and your nervousness begins.
2. Stay within your comfort zone. Stay within your comfort zone as long as it takes, until you are ready for a small challenge.
3. Take steps in and out of your comfort zone. Take small steps outside your comfort zone, but return to your comfort zone whenever you need to build confidence. By taking small ventures outside your comfort zone and always returning to safety, you’ll gradually expand your comfort zone.
Gradually, step by tiny step, you are expanding your comfort zone. Always give yourself permission to drop down below your comfort zone to build more confidence. There is no time frame here. If it takes you a month or a year, who cares?
Example
Maybe you feel comfortable catching, leading, tying, grooming, and cleaning your horse’s feet. But when you go to pick up your saddle off the rack, suddenly you feel the butterflies in your stomach — you have just left your comfort zone.
So you’ll head to the barn each day, catch, tie, groom, clean feet, then put your horse away. And you’ll do that every day until you are so sick and tired of grooming for no reason, that you are ready for a small challenge. Then your next step will be to saddle your horse, and then unsaddle him and put him away. Do that every day until you are ready for another challenge.
Next, maybe you’ll go to the arena and longe him, and then put him away. After that maybe you mount and dismount. Then you ride him at a walk once around the arena, and then continue increasing your riding time.
The important thing to remember is that you can control your emotions. It’ll take a little work on your part, but it can be done. I hear from people all the time who have gotten back to enjoying their horses by following these steps.
For more information on coping with a fear, check out juliegoodnight.com. Julie has a book titled, “Ride with Confidence,” and a motivational audio CD called “Building Confidence with Horses.”
In this series, master trainer and clinician Julie Goodnight helps riders solve problems with their own horses.
Look for “Horse Master with Julie Goodnight” on RFD-TV—Direct TV channel 379 or Dish Network channel 231.
